Now As I Was Ready For Healing And Looking Forward To Gradually Bringing Myself To The Land Of Work Again...To Enjoy Being Out And About Again.
This is a continuation of Anita's story, her previous post can be found here
The Chequers got my full attention - Quiz night then Darts then just because its Friday and Saturday made couples friends who we had seen before but properly cemented this relationship…… Oh I did get to see my hubby's family on Saturday my Nieces and Nephews and some happier news which I won't share just yet 🙂
Now today 12th April 2023 - ECG tomorrow the CT and on it goes…
I had such a giggle. We decided that they are "professional cuddlers"….. One of the ladies had breast cancer herself so totally understood my pre-empt of slug eyebrows (microblading) prior to losing my hair. It was nice to feel human again in this process. My breast nurse called yesterday too which was to confirm the next 2 appointments one of which will be a video call, the other for my PICC Line to be put in….
The more reading I do the more it gets real. I didn't even think about having to keep the PICC line dry when showering 🙁 So now I am into a whole new world of PICC Line cover ups and waterproofing - ohhh the excitement!
I had a very weird message come through on FB from an old school friend who I was really close with up to about 15 years ago. I posted a pic of Elephants doing funny stuff and put a quote "I have decided to live my life like an elephant" you need to see the videos to understand fully, but she picked up and said are you ok saw your post and was a bit worried - one of those friends who never lost touch with my feelings and got from one sentence I might be "Not Ok". I told her about the Space Invader as I haven't told many people really. I just want to be as normal as possible until I am not.
CT is this evening then Darts at my 2nd Home The Chequers tonight…. Pub Friends may join us 🙂
Conversation went something like ... you might get hot and have a metallic taste in your mouth ... oh and also you might feel like you have wet yourself. What!!!! Apart from the fact I was told I needed to wear a gown and no metal items and that it would take an hour and they managed to poison me and do the scan in 10 mins with no clothes change… Perhaps the whole process needs to be reviewed. These letters they send make you wary then it's nothing! Oh except another bruise - in my hand this time…
So now waiting for the Chemo team to call me and arrange the PICC Line and treatment, I really want my week's holiday first if possible one last hurrah before the unknown madness begins…..
Blood test Friday 21st Chemo team chat Friday 21st 3pm.
Then Monday 9am PICC Line goes in - the waterproof cover arrived too so I can shower easier, then D Day Chemo starts on 26th 9am - to say I am scared is an understatement. I wanted my week off to prepare, and spend some quality time with hubby before the madness began… but that has been stopped as NHS has deadlines and I am not allowed to control my life anymore.
Yes, I sound ungrateful but I have been a mum since I was 17 and have always had to run my work and home life so along with losing my Hair/Nails and social life I actually feel like a nothing. If they are trying to break me it is working. I just want to be me. I need to be in control. My head can't take this intrusion - I HATE YOU Space Invader…………..
Waiting for the call at 3pm. The lady who did my Bloods this morning was the same one who did my first lot on the fateful Friday…. She gave me another massive hug and asked how I was. Its so lovely that she remembered me.
So the rollercoaster continues Monday PICC Line - the most uncomfortable thing I have to live with doesn’t sit comfortably and is not easy to look after….
Started the process of looking into insurance and what I can claim - wow that’s a minefield!
Everyone being very apologetic, but the process is still shocking, that’s one thing being a business analyst/PM has taught me make things as easy as you can (Fewer clicks, less forms). I still do not understand why in this day and age the NHS spends fortunes on sending letters that arrive after appointments and insurers insist on a paper form we all have email addresses and can scan and send signed documents…..
Just think of the money the NHS would save just by asking if would you prefer email or post there is a need for a shake-up!!!
Anitas story is continued here.
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I am 51 and have Breast Cancer.....A little about me I had my eldest daughter at 17 not really planned - I was married at 18 and had my youngest daughter at 19. I split with my first husband when I was 26 after being together for years since school. I worked hard from starting as a cleaner to where I am now running millions of pounds projects, and happily married to my best friend and biggest support….
I am lucky to have some very special people in my life my husband who is unconditionally my biggest support, my daughters both very different but beautiful inside and out both of whom I love unconditionally. My Husbands family all of whom have been amazing. My mum and stepdad who live on the south coast, my dad and my Uncle who has given us all some grief in the last few year.
My son in law who has had his own hardships and still has room in his heart to love and cherish my youngest daughter. Their marriage in Cuba was one of the most beautiful days ever….. My grandchildren of which there are 3. The eldest is 15 and at 36 was a bit of a surprise. The middle one is 10 and tough and she certainly will not take any rubbish. The 3rd one is just the most loving soul and all three of them make my heart sing. My sister who is just there and always gives me support. I am very lucky to have 2 best friends both of whom are different but have always been in my life during the hardest and happiest times.
The current lifeline is the Chequers pub, friends and staff are being so supportive and just treating me normally which is what I need right now.
Now As I Was Ready For Healing And Looking Forward To Gradually Bringing Myself To The Land Of Work Again...To Enjoy Being Out And About Again.
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