Anita's Breast Lump: A Journey Begins....THE START "Space Invader"

My journey begins on a normal Friday - looking forward to having a nice weekend. 

Like a lot of women my age HRT aches and pains have taken over my life.  My jobs for today were to shower and change my HRT patch, it’s the little thing's that seem the hardest, oh I forgot to say all this going on whilst working full-time too.

10th March - The day I found the space invader

The thing that has sent my life spiraling out of control. The usual stuff working had a shower at lunchtime (perk of working from home) that’s when I saw it my breast had a dip in it… OMG everything was spinning, have I really seen it, is there really a lump, I'm sure it's not real…..  So I phoned the Drs they said they could see me that afternoon so I phoned my husband and told him, as always he came to be with me, his work has been great as have mine.  The doctor confirmed he too felt a lump at that point my head span he referred me to the Breast Clinic and said if I haven't got an appointment date by 14th then to call the number on the form…..  I walked out and said its real honey I think I need to go for a drink….  So off to the Chequers, we went - I made a conscious decision at that point not to worry anyone until we know more.  So Hubby/Sis were my 2 confidants.

14th I got my appointment for Mon 20th March 2023,  so I waited silently panicking about what Monday would bring… 

20th March - Mammogram "Space Invader"

Monday 20th March 2023 I arrived at the clinic and sat in a waiting room with all the other patients watching people come in and out - then…. My turn, I went in for my mammogram the radiographer reminded me of someone I worked with years ago, but she really put me at ease. 

The thing is this road means you are getting your baps out all the time!  I then got called into the consultant and was told I needed to have a scan and biopsies - Now it was getting real! 

Scan and Biopsies done then back into the consultant this was the first news - The biopsies look suspicious so we are sending for further tests can you come back Friday for the results?

ARGH! Spiraling now getting faster, my head feeling like it's not mine I look at my husband and well up a bit but think it's still not that word yet so let's keep this quiet for now it's funny how the brain works….

Now to wait for Friday 24th!

24th March - Results Part 1 and 2 "Space Invader"

My breast surgeon appointment due at 3:30pm waiting around sitting in a room full of worry! I eventually get called at 5:30 so 2 hours of sitting that was it the Space Invader was real "Invasive Ductal Breast Cancer Grade 3" but no Herr2 results at this point so I was given enough paper to fill a wheelie bin and told I needed to come back the following Friday for the Herr2 result.  At this point surgery would be the best option - so a light no Chemo!

I need to explain.. as I expect most people feel when they hear Cancer they think Chemo / Hair loss - I was that person so at this point a sign of relief could I stay working and just have surgery????? Please????

Friday 31st March 2023 - Back again waiting for my consultant

Got seen quicker this time and I had to have bloods done

It got worse the Space Invader wasn’t happy with just taking over my life with appointments it now had my Hair and possibly nails the 2 things as an adult I have always done for myself to keep me happy - YOU ABOSLUTE BASTARD I HATE YOU!  It was Herr 2 positive which I currently take to mean it could come back, so Chemo first is the best option then surgery……  I cried my husband cried my brain spun and then it was even better news you have to come back Monday at 9:30am to see the oncologist consultant - What!!!! It's Friday afternoon work closed how do I let my employer know? I said the assumption I can just drop everything - Me a person who organizes everyone and everything made me angry!  I also had an important meeting with my Uncle and Social services that date which had been booked for 3 weeks prior to this.  That was the moment I realized the Space Invader now controls me. How, Why, I can't cope - so bloods done and off to the pub I go to get some Dutch courage to now tell my loved ones….

That evening consisted of me being brave telling my Mum and Stepdad, my sis and my girls - Broken!  My hubby spoke to his side of the family for me as I was struggling.

Monday 3rd April 2023 - Hospital again feeling sick

Hating the place already, saw the consultant then got told more bloods - WTF I had loads done Friday why weren't they done together? I then sat waiting for over an hour crying and upset waiting to get my blood taken. 

First time ever I got a sharp pain in my lower arm which is till now 12th April bruised on both arms feeling fed up.  I came home and then had to put on a brave face for my uncle. 

A little back story: my Dad lost his wife last October to bowel cancer and they didn't come home from a break in Cyprus until the 3rd so I wanted to tell Dad and my uncle together.  Uncle did well in his home assessment but we agreed they would provide a list and an OT visit to check his needs in readiness to go home, he has been in the hospital since before Xmas 2022.  I suggested we pop to see dad for coffee and my Sis agreed to be there.  So we had a general chat for 10 mins then I drop the bombshell. They both seemed ok but I warned my step sis on the way home just to make sure Dad was ok. 

Dinner at my in laws that nice was well needed…

That’s it now Space Invader exists 🙁

Anita's story is continued here